The greatness of being a LONE WOLF

Hey people! This blog is about my untold story and how being a lone wolf changed my life completely. I’m pretty sure no one knows about this part of my life. I will be telling you how I dealt with my life when I was completely left alone in the dry and how I changed this biggest weakness into my biggest strength. I’ll completely be honest about this part of my life. I will also tell you the good things as well as bad things that happened to me after being a lone wolf. And if you are going through a similar situation as I did then I would say, this is the best thing that could’ve ever happened to you. Even though this happened during my early teenage life, I learned one of the greatest life lessons because of it. Everyone has problems in their life. What one might have as his/her biggest problems might be the smallest problems for the other. Similarly, the problem of a teenager might be the biggest problem for him but might be the least concern for any adult reading this. Put yourself in my shoes and keep reading this story. Just hold tight and enjoy the ride.

DISCLAIMER: This story is about me and all the things I went through. I just want to let you know that I am not promoting sadness and bitterness in your mind. I am not trying to convince you to hold a grudge against everything that happened to you. I just want you to read my side of the story and learn a lesson out of it. It might get a little bitter, but I would suggest you read the whole story and then read the conclusion. You might love what I’m trying to point out over here.

JOURNEY BEGINS

1. I was the kid who came from a small village who had no idea that there was a world that had a lot of things other than grandparents’ love and fairytale-like life. I was the kid who used to live with his grandparents, and you know how badly grandparents can adore you. I mean, dude they used to pamper me like anything. I miss everything that I had. Grandpa and grandma loving me, eating tasty food that my grandma made (literally even today my mom can’t beat her) and getting nice toys every day. I had everything that a kid could ever ask for. And that is how I was enjoying my life till its fullest until I was sent to the city to stay with my parents.
2. Imagine a kid who has been pampered continuously for years and was being provided with everything that he asked for. I was never denied anything. Whenever I asked for anything, I would get it. I had no exposure to negative things that might happen to me. I was living the life of a prince.
3. Then I was moved to the city Pune and God! It was not a good experience as a kid who just came from his hometown and was living in a city with his parents, without his grandparents. Ugh, I hated my life from the time I left my hometown. The school and all were fine. Because I was in senior kg and I had friends as dumb as I was. So, no one dared to trouble me. It was all cool. But the real problem that I faced was my friend circle in my society. I am talking about the social differences and the age gap that I had between them and me. Every freaking kid in my society was at least one year older than me. And I was the youngest kid in my circle. So, guess who got bullied the most? Obviously, ME! I was bullied every day. I used to spend most of my time with these people because I had nowhere to go. For a kid, it was torture in the worst possible way. Even though they rarely bullied me physically, I was getting affected the most mentally. They used to harass me mentally. Like making me seek them 20times in a row and believe me they didn’t play any other games till I was done with my turns or running away from me as if I was some sort of dog who was going to bite them or they not letting me take the football that I also contributed for or teasing me for being the dumbest kid who didn’t know that they are bullying me. And I was the youngest kid, so I couldn’t really do anything about it.
4. Man, I used to spend most of the time of my day playing, just like any other kid. And that is why I needed someone to play with. At such a tender age, how can a kid not have any social interaction even though it was a negative one? I used to go to my mom crying about all the terrible things that they did to me. My parents also tried taking actions against these behaviors, but you know what we say, “The first impression is the last impression”. I had already made my impression on my so-called ‘new friends’. They knew that I was a butterfly that just came out of its cocoon and doesn’t know a thing about how the world works. So, complaining to my friends’ parents was of no use because it depended on me how I wanted to be treated. But it was too late because I already made up my mind that these are the bad guys and I should fear them. The worst part is, I couldn’t even go anywhere outside the society because I was too young. I had no other option but to play with them. Honestly, I was mentally broken. That really was complete torture I would say. I used to cry every day for hours. By the way, all the things that I just mentioned above do not even cover a fraction of all the terrible things that they did to me. I know it isn’t much of a problem for y’all but for me, it was a living hell.
5. My childhood was really tough. I also tried fighting back. I had to become strong and go against them. One thing I understood was your life doesn’t get easier, you become stronger. It was the environment that shaped me into the kind of person I want to become. I guess I have never said this to anyone but once things got so out of hand that it hurt me physically. It was the time of Ganesha Chaturti (Hindu festival) when we all were playing basketball. The windows of the clubhouse were open, and we were playing right next to them. Of course, we didn’t realize that, and we continued playing. I somehow miraculously got the basketball and when I started running towards the basket there was this short fat guy who was the eldest jerk in our group who pushed me purposely without realizing that there was a window right next to me. That window was completely rusted and had sharp corners. If he had pushed me a little harder, I would have most probably had physical brain damage. Maybe my skull would have cracked wide open. But fortunately, nothing like that happened. He did push me pretty hard, but I was lucky enough to have a safe distance between the window and myself. I didn’t get any stitches and I was lucky enough to be present right there alive. I did lose a lot of blood. My shirt was full of blood. And my parents were scared the most. But I was fine. Did I deserve that? Is that the price that you have to pay for being weak? People push you around when you prove to them that you are weak.
6. And here it is, this is the environment I grew in. Imagine a kid, who doesn’t know anything other than love, fun, happiness, and all the good things in the world, and that kid is pushed into the dirty, ill environment every freaking day for hours where he was being treated like a piece of crap. Guess what will it do to the kid? It will change him forever. To clean the dirt, you have to make your hands dirty. And that’s exactly what I did.
7. Eh, the dirt didn’t get cleaned but I surely changed:,-). Just because I grew in such an environment it obviously affected my school life. I became one of the bad kids in my class. The thing is, even though I couldn’t deal with my society friends, I could surely deal with my school friends. In fact, I was the one hell of a troublemaker. I became tough because of the environment that I was growing in. I was in another school from 1st standard to 3rd standard where everything was fine. My school life was just great over there and then I joined this school called Bayway school (of course that’s not the real name of the school). I got into Bayway school in the 4th standard when I was 8 years old. As I was the biggest and the baddest kid in the classroom, I took good advantage of that. I started bullying kids and I want to tell you; I had the best time of my life. But the downside of this was, everyone started hating me. Then one day everyone started torturing me and everyone got united against me. They did make me feel bad about it. Well, they not only made me feel bad, they ruined my school life I would say. And I was the reason why everyone got together and had a reason to stay together. Well, they did get me well. In fact, everyone started ignoring me. I mean dude think about that! I was left behind. I was also sent to the principal’s office many times in my first year of being in that school. And yeah that’s exactly what I deserved.
8. When I came in the 6th standard, I was shifted to the other section. And as you know, gossips travel faster than the speed of light. In no time the word spread out. But the thing is, I changed. Even though I did terrible things, I took actions for changing myself. I tried changing myself so many times that I lost the track of it. I lost the track because no one really gave me a 2nd chance. But the thing is, this school had really cheap people in it. They were worse than the last class. It was just them being against me for all the bad things that I did in the other class. It wasn’t even related to them. But no one liked me for who I was and what I had become. Obviously, after so many terrible things happening to you, it will take time to come back on track. And I remember very well that these people had pure hate for me. It was a freaking battle royale. Told ya! “The first impression is the last impression”.
9. They teased me, so did I. They troubled me, so did I. They hurt me, so did I. And that’s how I was. That’s what you have to do to survive in such a situation. If you don’t fight back, you’ll get crushed ruthlessly by this cruel world. Again, everyone got united, started ignoring me and the cycled continued. I was a terrible person but that’s how I became to survive. There was never another option for me. I became the byproduct of my environment. But the thing is not a single soul asked me if there was anything wrong that happened with me. Everyone was concerned about the savior who used to stand against a bully like me but there wasn’t a single person to ask me if I was ok. No one was ready to listen to the other side of the story. Maybe it was because that’s how a person like me was supposed to be treated but I was also trying to become a better version of myself. But all they used to do was walk all over me even though I didn’t cause any harm to anyone. No one really gave me a second chance to prove myself as a good person but all they did was hate me for what I did in the last classroom.
10. Have you heard the phrase “if you do 100 good things and make 1 mistake, then it will another 100 good things to make up for this 1 mistake”. You see the world will never see the good things that you have done but always judge you based on the 1 mistake that you made. Oh, they will take the ‘after actions’ into considerations only if you have done something wrong. The world can be really harsh because they will never know what the bad person has gone through. Because they believe that’s what bad people deserve but what they don’t realize is that the bad circumstances are the things that make good people bad.
11. Don’t get me wrong. The good kid was still there inside me but there was more negativity than positivity around me. And when people make up their mind, that this person is bad then that is it. You’ll have to survive it. The environment became so toxic to me that I also asked my parents if I could change my school. As I didn’t have any valid reason, I had to study over here. They believed that this school had a good education even though it had a cheap environment with cheap people in it. Cheap people are there in every school but that doesn’t mean I am supposed to stop going to school. But here it was a complete nightmare. I’m not only talking about friends, but even the teachers were disgusting. Teachers also used to judge. Oh, they were worse than my friends. Giving me fewer marks because I had argued with ma’am for the logic-based problem that I was facing in her class like someone teasing me. Or someone throwing a paper ball just to check my temper. But it was me who was the bad kid and that’s exactly what I deserved. They didn’t say that directly, but they would never take action when it comes to me facing problems. What if I was the one who had created a problem? Well, the first thing to happen was me being sent to the principal’s office and along with that, no one wanted to listen to my side of the story. Pretty fair right? Don’t get me started with our teachers’ English. My goodness! If English were a dish and if my teachers were supposed to make it, everyone who would eat it would puke on the spot. That’s how good my environment was. My friends and my teachers who wanted the same thing, me getting out of this school as soon as possible. Believe me, I wanted the same. As I was stuck here, I had to survive this type of environment alone because surely there was not a single person to ask me. This was the time when I became a “LONE WOLF”.
12. My life changed completely when I became a Lone Wolf. Before 7th class, I used to talk to people even though it didn’t give any positive vibes but I did. When I got promoted to the 7th class, I was completely alone. I cut off everyone from the start of the academic year. I was the kid who used to sit in the corner on the last bench. I never interacted with anyone else unless and until I was supposed to, for example during projects which needed teamwork. It contained marks so I had to. It was obviously difficult at the start of the year. If I forgot the tools for mathematics class, then I was stuck. I wouldn’t be able to do my exercises. No one was there to share food with. I didn’t have anyone to talk to. My marks were messed up because I couldn’t handle all my downfall. Everything was going south unexpectedly. Everyone was having fun during the break except me. I was studying whatever we were taught that particular day. I also used to look around. People think that nobody heard their gossips, but I was a nobody, right? I used to listen to them quietly. Don’t get me wrong. I didn’t spy on people. But I didn’t have any other option too. I learned so much about how terrible people can be. My situation was nothing in terms of all the things that I heard. But I would say this situation helped me a lot because I got to know about the worst kind of people. I started getting all the answers to my questions like how bad people can be or how we don’t really need people for survival or how having too many friends can also ruin your life. I learned too many things. Another good part about being a Lone Wolf is that you don’t have to share good food. So, there is that. ;)
13. I knew no one talked to me. I knew everyone hated me. I knew that I knew everything that was going on, but I was acting as if I didn’t. And the best part about this is you don’t have to care about anyone. Seeing your classmate drowning? Well go and ask that person where are your friends when you all united against me? And that’s all. Just get out of there. No one will blame you. If you try helping the person and if something goes wrong, then you will be held accountable. I know this is very dark but maybe… maybe somewhere these people deserved it. Was this a coincidence? I guess not. I am a true believer of karma when it comes to you hurting people. I got my punishments and now it was their turn. The people who got united together and swore that they’ll never lose this friendship were the first ones to leave each other backs after the school life was over. Have you heard the phrase “Too many vegetables spoil the soup” What it means is too many people in a group will always create problems and break the group no matter how hard you try stopping it. Another especially important lesson I learned from being a Lone Wolf is that I was not accountable to anyone. I got to know the essence of not having any friends. It was just me. I had to take care of myself only. It was so much better than having friends. I basically got used to not having any friends and I was doing just fine. I became mature. I learned a lesson that the world won’t die if you don’t have any friends. I understood that it’s okay to go on a lonely path.
14. Another thing I got to know is, no matter how big of a friend circle you have. Today or tomorrow this friend circle breaks no matter how hard you try to stop it. There will be gossips, there will be rumors, there will be back-bitching going on. Just because you consider all your friends equal, you wouldn’t know whom to trust. And the second this starts’ happening, just understand that there is already a crack in your friend circle’s bond. I understood that you’ll get real peace only when you have made your life as simple as possible. The more friends you have, the more complicated your life gets. For 2 years, that is, 7th and 8th class I was completely alone and it was the most peaceful time of my life. It was the best experience of my life because now I wasn’t scared of being alone. If tomorrow I’m left alone with nothing but these experiences, then I will survive, and I will come back where I deserve to be. In 9th I found a really good friend who is still my best friend. He is the only guy I ever trusted completely because there are very few good people in this cruel world. Then I didn’t need to be a lone wolf anymore because then I got a companion.
15. I have had many people stab me in the back, I lost friends for no good reason and I’ve also lost my mind because of it. But now everyone is good. Because I grew from them.

Robert Kiyosaki says, “What is spirituality? Spirituality means that there is good & there is bad. There is up & there is down. There is right & there is wrong. You must learn from it. You can’t always be right. You can’t always keep everyone happy. You can’t always be good. Situations change, people change.”

16. Do you know? Just because I became a Lone Wolf, I stopped caring. I learned the art of cutting off people. I stopped asking for opinions. I did whatever I felt right. Whenever I felt that something was unacceptable or something I did was wrong, then I used to ask myself what is the worst-case scenario? And if the worst-case scenario didn’t have hurting anyone or ruining my life completely, I would give it a try. I didn’t care what people thought about me. Wanna grow your hair as long as you want to? I gave it a try. Wanna play guitar during farewell when everyone judged you? I gave it a try anyway. It was too bad because the speakers stopped working and I had to play without any mic in front of 150 people. Did I eat a lot when my friend gave me a birthday party at a hotel? Of course, I did because I go to the gym every day and I use my energy completely so yeah, I do eat more than what people normally eat. Hell, I also unfollowed all my school friends on Instagram, I deleted all the classmates’ contacts and I also cut people off. But do I care what people think? Hell no. Because if you see, these events are not going to be remembered again. But these events correct you from whatever wrong you were doing. I knew that growing hair won’t change the kind of person I am. And I also realized it is difficult to maintain hair, so I cut it. I got to know that school can be really bad in terms of arrangement so when you know the school people are unprepared then don’t do it because they don’t deserve to see your talent. About the eating part, if someone does something unusual than what others normally do, then people judge. But when it comes to food there is no right or wrong. And even if there was, why should you care?

17. Another thing that I almost missed is you become street smart when you face the world. You get to know the worst kind of people and you also know how to tackle them. And that is how you appreciate every bit of happiness that you get. You get to know the real worth of happiness when you finally get it after years of loneliness.

BENEFITS OF BEING A LONE WOLF

I’d say there are more advantages than disadvantages of being a lone wolf and here are some of them:

1. Less or no responsibility of others — One good thing about being a lone wolf is that if you are incapable of helping others or if you don’t want to help someone, you can just get out of there without helping. I know that it is good to be a bigger person but no, I also believe in the phrase “some people never change”. You can leave people behind and it is okay sometimes because if they were in your shoes, would they do the same thing? I mean I did it sometimes but the positive effects of this are you won’t be accountable. More times than I could remember, I have been held accountable or I have been punished because something went wrong when I was helping. But the thing is, you stop caring once you have become a lone wolf.

2. Self-dependent — You develop a habit of organizing things and you stay more conscious of whatever you are doing. I was focused. And after a certain point, you stop being dependent on others. Forget about asking something, once you see people’s true colors you don’t even feel like looking at their disgusting faces. And that is how you become self-sufficient by enlightening your soul after telling yourself ‘you are better off without them’.

3. Proper utilization of time — Another merit of being a lone wolf is you learn to manage time. I still remember, when I had no friends, I had all the time in the world. Remember I said that I could study all the things that were taught to us the same day. Yeah, I could do the revision the same day at school. Other than that, once I stopped going down to my society friends, I could do other things. There were no distractions. I honestly started scoring well after during 9th. I mean it was way better than earlier. More than distracted I was more like figuring myself out.

4. Resources used on yourself ONLY — Oooolala! The best example of this is, you don’t have to share your good food. OMG! That is just heaven. If you think what a fatso I am, I will say … Ha! As if I care. But seriously, you learn how to manage stuff. You know no one’s gonna ask you because everyone hates you, so you must just look after yourself. It is okay to be a little selfish in this world. It is okay to put yourself first because if you don’t, no one will.

5. Surviving anywhere alone — The best lesson I learned by being alone is that I can survive in any situation anywhere. Whenever I had school trips, I would enjoy my day as much as possible. I did feel lonely at the start but once you start taking these problems as challenges, it gets really fun. I listened to songs, I took pictures of beautiful sceneries, no friends drama, no bullying, no negativity. Just you and your peaceful life. You start finding happiness in small little things.

6. Changes your perspective of the world — you get to know that friends are not the only thing important for your survival. When the time comes, everyone will leave you unless and until you have a few very loyal friends. I always believe in the phrase “quality over quantity”. I don’t care how many people want to be your friend. Always remember this, “cheap items have too many buyers”.

DISADVANTAGES OF BEING A LONE WOLF

Obviously being a lone wolf depends on situation to situation. So, if you are an introvert then being a lone wolf is the best thing to happen to you. But if you are an extrovert then it’s not so good for you but you’ll have to be dynamic. I know these sentences are dumb. But what I’m trying to say is if your environment is bad then it wouldn’t matter if you are introvert or extrovert. A bully never sees if you are an introvert or an extrovert. He/she won’t care if you are a good person or bad. They bully because that’s what they do. When you are tired of being in a negative environment and you can’t even get out of it then being a lone wolf is the best option even if you are extrovert. What I’m saying is, it is much easier for introverts to become Lone Wolf. Now the downsides of being a lone wolf are:

1. No one cares what happens to you — Just the way you don’t care about people, people will also stop caring about you. If you bought everything that you need and don’t need anyone then it is understandable but what if you forgot something important and really need it from someone else? Not every day is the same day, right? Anything can happen anytime.

2. Left alone in the dark — Believe me, it is not cool when you are left alone. It sucks. But once you get used to it you won’t have to depend on anyone. But the thing is, you’ll get affected mentally. It is your choice to get affected positively or negatively but if you allow yourself to go through the negative way then you’ll ruin your own life. Which gets us to my next point that is you start to forget the value of having relations.

3. Forgetting about what friendship feels like — This is a very common problem that people might face. You’ll start forgetting what being in a friendship feels like and how important it is to have at least one companion. You’ll start forgetting the value of relationships that you have. You’ll forget how to interact with people. When you are expected to be friendly or whenever you start over, it will be difficult interacting with people.

4. Losing people who actually cared — You do not want to ruin your relationship with people who are actually real to you. Many people get drowned in the emotions so much that they forget that people who try to help them are not trying to hurt them. I also remember doing that and I would like to tell you that there were few people who cared for me in those 2 years when I was completely alone. I swear I ruined good friendships because of this attitude. I do feel bad, but I don’t regret it. Because I learned how to be alone anyways.

5. A human being is a social animal — No matter how much you want to deny it, but human beings are social animals. I didn’t say you can’t stay without people around you but what I’m trying to say is, our very nature is to be socially interactive. We can’t live without people around us even though it means not talking to them. There should be humans around, that is when we feel safe.

6. The need for the network — Don’t mind but I would also like to speak a little truth over here. Practically, in today’s world, you need contacts and a network of people. There can be 2 situations over here. If there is no necessity of people, then you can survive as a lone wolf but if you were supposed to interact with people on a daily basis then you don’t have a choice. What if it’s your job? If you must do it, then you don’t have the option of becoming a lone wolf. Imagine a guy purchasing a stock after not talking to a stockbroker about where he’s supposed to invest in. He’ll go broke. Or imagine a guy filing a case against someone without a lawyer because he wants to do everything on his own. That is stupidity. Wherever you need people or a team, you can’t just pretend you’ll get everything done on your own.

LEARN TO JUSTIFY

Another thing I learned with my life experiences is that people bully other people when they want to seek attention or when their environment treats them ill. That is when people come in contact with negativity and spread this on. The reason I changed and became a bad person is that I was treated badly, and it led me to treat others badly too. Now I started realizing that the people who treated me in an ill way were treated in a much worse way. I realized that 2 kids in the group didn’t have fathers (both gave divorce) and one of the kids didn’t have a mom. Can you understand the amount of pain they might have gone through? I’m not saying any of them deserved that, but the bad surroundings made good kids bad. If you look at it from their point of view, whatever they did to me was just a distraction to make them feel good. You don’t know what they might be going through. Now I don’t mean to say that they deserved so much pain, but this pain is the reason why they are who they are. It makes more sense why they used to trouble weak people. It helps to justify after listening to both sides of the story. Now I’m not saying that it isn’t their fault to trouble me. Of course, it is their fault. But instead of fighting back I simply removed them from my life. That’s how easy it was. I knew they weren’t gonna change, so I changed, and I made changes in my life to remove negativity. I grew up, I started going to the ground which was in the parallel road. I took out all the negativity in my life. I made new friends. I started over.

Similarly, you should have this sort of attitude against the world. Be realistic. Always remember that not everyone is going to be there. People drift even when you don’t want them to.

CONCLUSION

The conclusion of this story is, you become a lone wolf when it suits your situation. When you don’t have any other option left, that is when you become a lone wolf. You don’t become a lone wolf when you see a stupid Bollywood movie and push yourself from your friends just because the hero did that. And his friends couldn’t live without him and came back for him. I swear to God if that’s the reason why you are alone then I hope no one comes for you. Don’t let these stupid factors control your emotions. If you start getting into depression or when you feel left out, that is when you are supposed to become a Lone Wolf. That is when you have to have an attitude that you don’t care about the world either.

I started all over and made the most out of me. And because of all the things that happened in my life, I am who I am today. You have the right to speak so you might not like me, and you might tell it to me, but I don’t really care. I am happy with who I have become. I again have everything that a young adult needs. I’ve got only 5 friends. 2 in my school, 2 that I meet on special occasions and 1 whom I have not yet met again. But deep down we know we are still best friends. He’s my only school friend, remember? Always remember “Quality over quantity”. And along with that, I am also building my body (being healthy), I am getting good marks, I’ve got happy parents who think that I am not an idiot after all and a little sister whom I trouble the most. I took action on my life and it changed completely. Your actions determine the kind of life you want to lead.

My life has changed completely now. I knew that you have to always make the first impression your best impression and that’s what I did in college life. No one judged me no matter how bad I messed up things. They know me for the kind of person I actually am and not for what bad I can do. I have shown my best side in the start itself, so people know me at my best. And as I spread positivity, I got positivity back. To get the respect you have to give respect. That’s what I did. And even though there is teasing in friends deep down I know that people respect me for who I am, and I respect them for treating me properly. That is how you have peace in your life.

Lastly, I want to say that be proud of who you are. No one will love you if you don’t love yourself. Believe me, it is the key to true happiness. When the world is against you, don’t be against yourself. Or else that will be a complete loss of humanity. I was a Lone wolf and you to become if necessary.

When the time comes, Show your greatness of being a LONE WOLF.